One must always try to be as radical as reality itself. - Lenin
The position of the Bolsheviks I understood, because they preached 'Down with the war and immediate peace at any price,' but I couldn't understand at all the tactics of the SRs and the Mensheviks, who first broke up the army, as if to avoid counterrevolution, and at the same time desired the continuation of the war to a victorious end. - General Brusilov
I was terrified as only grown men and women can be when they wake in the middle of the night and begin to realize, in the absolute silence and solitude all around them, that it is not only their dream that has woken them, that it is their whole way of life.
And if all womankind banded together and took the male path, the world would turn into one huge brothel
To begin with, I had never done any good deeds; besides, even if I had simply fabricated a few, I would not have enjoyed going on about them.
This story, which takes place one a Sunday in July in a hot, deserted Lisbon, is the Requiem that the character I refer to as “I” was called on to perform in this book. Were someone to ask me why I wrote this story in Portuguese, I would answer simply that a story like this could only be written in Portuguese; it's as simple as that. But there is something else that needs explaining. Strictly speaking, a Requiem should be written in Latin, at least that's what tradition prescribes. Unfortunately, I don't think I'd be up to it in Latin. I realised though that I couldn't write a Requiem in my own language and I that I required a different language, one that was for me A PLACE OF AFFECTION AND REFLECTION.
Personally I don't trust literature that soothes people's consciences.
I found myself remembering the day in kindergarten when the teachers showed us Dumbo, and I realized for the first time that all the kids in the class, even the bullies, rooted for Dumbo, against Dumbo's tormentors. Invariably they laughed and cheered, both when Dumbo succeeded and when bad things happened to his enemies. But they're you, I thought to myself. How did they not know? They didn't know. It was astounding, an astounding truth. Everyone thought they were Dumbo.
I kept thinking about the uneven quality of time--the way it was almost always so empty, and then with no warning came a few days that felt so dense and alive and real that it seemed indisputable that that was what life was, that its real nature had finally been revealed. But then time passed and unthinkably grew dead again, and it turned out that that fullness had been an aberration and might never come back.
But the Beatles turned out to be one of the things you couldn’t avoid, like alcohol, or death.
But to me it seemed that one had always been midway the journey of our life, and would be maybe right up until the moment of death.
“Whenever I’m worried about anything,” said this guy Ben, “I like to think about China. China has a population of like two billion people, and not one of them even remotely cares about whatever you think is so important.” I acknowledged that this was a great comfort.
COIL is the most important to me, especially because it’s more a vehicle for my personal ideas – through the lyrics and the ideas I put into songs – but Sleazy contributes so much in this respect too. As we live together, we know exactly what to do as COIL – it just happens.If we disagree then it never reaches the public. We cannot afford to dilute our ideas; we do everything we want. we record the music we would like to hear as far as you possibly can do that. When we work on a song we don’t think about – should we make it more so and so to try and please any particular type of person. Sometimes we play around with peoples expectations, I think, but to remain pure we indulge ourselves at the beginning. It’s the only way.
CURRENT 93 is essentially David Tibet 93’s group. When I work on stuff with him, I add my own ideas, but Tibet has the last,final – overall say; and I like to work like that sometimes as with COIL I feel so much responsibility at every stage , from soundsamples byse to the lettering on an album innersleeve or whatever. CURRENT 93 is essentially Tibets mind – in action – manifesting its dark and intricate interior outwards onto the European cultural arena. COIL is my vehicle for my perverted little nightmares which for some unexplained reason I feel I have to share with everyone I can get to listen. COIL is perhaps a more stable group. Now there are 3 of us.Me, Sleazy and Steve Wyndham (Thrower), who was a temporary member for SCATOLOGY but who has now joined properly. Not that we sign papers or anything. But we all feel more of a solid entity to confront people with.With common aims and ideals.
I like to collaborate with others i.e. Boyd Rice was great to work with on NIGHTMARE CULTURE. We like to introduce a few selected people because it makes for interest while you can actually record – and you get fresh viewpoints – a new colour scheme in the usual permutations!!
- John Balance
